Dreams aren't made of this
Near death experience. Heartache. Loss. Death. And, missed flights.
I get taunted by the strangest dreams in my sleep. It has reached the point where I have learnt to brush them all aside as a yet another funky dream and I have given up trying to make sense of them. What strikes me is, I never used to get such odd dreams until the recent years. Since then, I was constantly craving for an explanation. I worried my sanity was under threat. The eventual derived hypothesis seems fairly sound - my brain is still normal except now, has acquired a hypersensitive edge. I figured I did not go crazy but have just somehow become more aware and better at remembering dreams. I don't know how odd this is, but, I usually retain some level of consciousness when dreaming. I once dreamt about myself dreaming a funny dream and actually knowing all that was just a dream (?!).
Reoccurring dreams I kind of understand
1. Of running late. When I was in school, I used to dream about missing my school bus courtesy of my untimeliness. They have now evolved to missing planes/being denied boarding. I have never really ran into any of the said situations. And I certainly don't wish to considering how problematic a missed flight could be.
2. Having the boy I am most captivated by signalling his loss/lack of interest in me. I guess this echoes with my history of unsuccessful crushes and relationships where my self-esteem can become my point of weakness. So, nothing too shocking although I can wake up feeling like I just had my heart bulldozed.
3. Losses. One morning I woke up with an angst that took forever to wear off. I dreamt my dad gave Honey (my GSD) away without my consent. Another time I woke up crying and I did not stop until I literally ran out of tears to shed after dreaming about suddenly losing a close family member. I do have an underlying fear of losing my loved ones so again, disturbing but nothing too extraordinary.
Reoccurring dreams I don't understand
1. My death (in multiple versions). I suppose death presents an innate fear among us all although I never consider myself fearful of my own death. So technically, I shouldn't even be getting these dreams. Maybe they have some other obscure or less obvious meaning but it wouldn't make much sense if I cannot make anything out of them anyway. Perhaps someone could enlighten me?
v1.0: I was hunted by a hitman who'd stalk me after school with a sniper. It was kind of like hide-and-seek with a fucking scary twist.
v2.0: Someone was about to rape and murder me while I was taking a shower after a swim (?!). Thankfully it never got to the gory details.
v3.0: I got shot in the chest by a stranger who somehow had a grudge on me. I woke up with the sharpest pain in my chest wondering if this was how people die in their sleep. And the following thoughts were, "Wow, I'm dying in my sleep knowing what's it like... but no one else would ever know. What a tragic way to die! But wtf, what other choice have I got?". The pain eventually wore away and I am so.fucking.glad I survived that.
v4.0: I was involved in a devastating train accident that killed everyone. I was among the dead but somehow was still alive unscathed - with an awesome near-death experience story to tell everyone LOL. "OMG, did you know I was supposed to be dead??!!"
Dreams of death are, without a doubt, disturbing. So, for a little bit of optimism, at least I know what's it like to die in various ways without actually dying. It's not like you get the chance to experience multiple deaths all the time right? ...right?
2. Having parties or just random dreams that aren't worth remembering involving friends I do not keep in regular contact with. They are mostly of people I somewhat know who bear little significance in my life. Hello, could I at least dream about partying and hanging out with friends I love instead of a bunch of people I never talk to?
Latest funkiness
A while ago, just some time before I got kicked out of student residence, I had a dream of my ex-housemate, Joyce a.k.a best-buddy-in-Perth-till-bitch-ditched-me, made a surprising unannounced return to Perth. We were suddenly housemates once again! I was thrilled and ecstatic beyond words.. only to later wake up feeling shitty knowing it was nothing more than an overinflated dream. Oh well. Back to my broken heart.
I caught up with my (newly ex-)housemates several days back. What's really uncanny is, the girl taking over my room is called Joyce! I was like, holy shit, are you for real?! Also from Malaysia but unfortunately, not the Joyce I was expecting. Still a pretty outrageous coincidence though.
I get taunted by the strangest dreams in my sleep. It has reached the point where I have learnt to brush them all aside as a yet another funky dream and I have given up trying to make sense of them. What strikes me is, I never used to get such odd dreams until the recent years. Since then, I was constantly craving for an explanation. I worried my sanity was under threat. The eventual derived hypothesis seems fairly sound - my brain is still normal except now, has acquired a hypersensitive edge. I figured I did not go crazy but have just somehow become more aware and better at remembering dreams. I don't know how odd this is, but, I usually retain some level of consciousness when dreaming. I once dreamt about myself dreaming a funny dream and actually knowing all that was just a dream (?!).
Reoccurring dreams I kind of understand
1. Of running late. When I was in school, I used to dream about missing my school bus courtesy of my untimeliness. They have now evolved to missing planes/being denied boarding. I have never really ran into any of the said situations. And I certainly don't wish to considering how problematic a missed flight could be.
2. Having the boy I am most captivated by signalling his loss/lack of interest in me. I guess this echoes with my history of unsuccessful crushes and relationships where my self-esteem can become my point of weakness. So, nothing too shocking although I can wake up feeling like I just had my heart bulldozed.
3. Losses. One morning I woke up with an angst that took forever to wear off. I dreamt my dad gave Honey (my GSD) away without my consent. Another time I woke up crying and I did not stop until I literally ran out of tears to shed after dreaming about suddenly losing a close family member. I do have an underlying fear of losing my loved ones so again, disturbing but nothing too extraordinary.
Reoccurring dreams I don't understand
1. My death (in multiple versions). I suppose death presents an innate fear among us all although I never consider myself fearful of my own death. So technically, I shouldn't even be getting these dreams. Maybe they have some other obscure or less obvious meaning but it wouldn't make much sense if I cannot make anything out of them anyway. Perhaps someone could enlighten me?
v1.0: I was hunted by a hitman who'd stalk me after school with a sniper. It was kind of like hide-and-seek with a fucking scary twist.
v2.0: Someone was about to rape and murder me while I was taking a shower after a swim (?!). Thankfully it never got to the gory details.
v3.0: I got shot in the chest by a stranger who somehow had a grudge on me. I woke up with the sharpest pain in my chest wondering if this was how people die in their sleep. And the following thoughts were, "Wow, I'm dying in my sleep knowing what's it like... but no one else would ever know. What a tragic way to die! But wtf, what other choice have I got?". The pain eventually wore away and I am so.fucking.glad I survived that.
v4.0: I was involved in a devastating train accident that killed everyone. I was among the dead but somehow was still alive unscathed - with an awesome near-death experience story to tell everyone LOL. "OMG, did you know I was supposed to be dead??!!"
Dreams of death are, without a doubt, disturbing. So, for a little bit of optimism, at least I know what's it like to die in various ways without actually dying. It's not like you get the chance to experience multiple deaths all the time right? ...right?
2. Having parties or just random dreams that aren't worth remembering involving friends I do not keep in regular contact with. They are mostly of people I somewhat know who bear little significance in my life. Hello, could I at least dream about partying and hanging out with friends I love instead of a bunch of people I never talk to?
Latest funkiness
A while ago, just some time before I got kicked out of student residence, I had a dream of my ex-housemate, Joyce a.k.a best-buddy-in-Perth-till-bitch-ditched-me, made a surprising unannounced return to Perth. We were suddenly housemates once again! I was thrilled and ecstatic beyond words.. only to later wake up feeling shitty knowing it was nothing more than an overinflated dream. Oh well. Back to my broken heart.
I caught up with my (newly ex-)housemates several days back. What's really uncanny is, the girl taking over my room is called Joyce! I was like, holy shit, are you for real?! Also from Malaysia but unfortunately, not the Joyce I was expecting. Still a pretty outrageous coincidence though.
